Book #1

2/13/2013

“Living With Intensity: Understanding the Sensitivity, Excitability, and Emotional Development of Gifted Children, Adolescents, and Adults” (Susan Daniels and Michael M. Peichowski, editors)

We will be meeting in person to discuss the first half of this book on Wednesday, March 20th, at 7:00 pm. The meeting will take place in Port Orchard; the exact location will be announced soon.

Blog comments about this book at any time!

19 Comments

Trina Routh

2/15/2013 01:44:30 am

Let's read through Chapter 6 before our first meeting.

Beckie Sorter

2/20/2013 08:16:28 am

Just received my copy from Amazon...reading away! very interesting already.

Trina Routh

2/22/2013 07:43:02 am

My copy arrived today! I scanned the first couple of chapters, and was happy to note that although the book begins with technical theories, it quickly moves into application by Chapter 3. I'll be a good student read the theory portion carefully, but I'm looking forward to the practical part!

Maureen

2/23/2013 09:42:04 am

As I began chapter 3, my stimulation was greatly enhanced. I love the suggestion to have kids keep an "IQ" sheet. (pg. 38) I have often provided a "parking lot" for ideas we need to return to later, but that has been a large poster or white board version and not a child's personal sheet. I am anxious to give the kids this option. Personally, I live in the post-it world, so when they discussed keeping a note pad next to a child's bed, (pg. 39) I could totally relate. I wake up nightly and have to jot down my ideas on my post-it stack in order to be able to return to sleep.

Shannon

2/25/2013 03:56:50 am

The IQ suggestion is great. I can imagine it being a sanity saver in a classroom or for families with more that one talkative child lol

Beckie

2/25/2013 05:23:05 am

Both of my children usually want to draw at night after reading. I usually want them to calm down & sleep. Another "aha moment"...they must know they need this. My son asks endless questions about deep matters when he is supposed to be sleeping...the later, the more inquisitive. I like the IQ sheets.

Trina

2/24/2013 01:38:11 am

I actually enjoyed Chapter 1 much more than I expected. I underlined a LOT! Does one or more of the forms of overexcitabilities apply to your child?

Shannon

2/25/2013 03:54:40 am

I have lots of highlighting in chapter 3. What blew me away about the OEs was how it tied together so many of Dds eccentric or amusing behaviors, like her carefully put together four layers of pajamas, how when she was 2 she would never walk barefoot in the grass, her refusal to wear jeans. I see now that those are all apart of her Sense OE

Beckie

2/25/2013 05:16:30 am

I could relate to all excitabilities with my son...surplus of energy, search for truth, learning by touching everything, imaginary friends when younger (Marjo lived with us until our daughter was born), hours & hours spent building entire lego villages and playing with all the characters with great purpose, still dresses up in camo/gear and fights 'bad guys' all up & down our driveway, extreme emotions, enthusiasm and sometimes feeling sad about being different....whew. This book is giving me a sense of relief, plus some new patience, even appreciation, for all that can really drive me crazy at times. Plus I'm diagnosing most of my other family members. ha ha good reading!

Shannon

2/25/2013 07:55:43 am

Oh yes, we are a total OE family here lol.
The book has given me more patience as well. I try to focus now on teaching to cope with the OE reaction (especially the emotional one) instead of thinking it is a discipline issue. But it's still hard and sometimes exhausting!

Beckie

2/28/2013 04:10:52 am

Chapter 4...a bit overwhelming for me. My oldest is 10...so have not experienced teens yet. It confirms to me that keeping that trust and good relationship with our children is key as a parent. They are facing so many issues - maturing & changing. It is a lot going on inside of one person. My son is already trying to be his own "man" at 10....I see it in so many ways. He wants the responsibility, yet cannot always handle it. We give him the environments to spread his wings and grow. For example, dropping him at the roller rink Sunday for a couple hours. Sometimes he does wonderful. Other times he comes back with what we sense as a disrespectful attitude...ignores what we say, does only what he wants to do. It is hard to take within the family structure at times. Yet I know he is growing, maturing and I must allow him to, and trust him. Hard to find that balance. I do remember feeling so independent when I was younger..and that helps.

Trina

3/3/2013 08:44:47 am

I've read through Chapter 6, but Chapter 3 is my favorite so far. I really enjoyed the "Children with XX OE need to hear" sections at the end of each OE description.

I appreciated the thought that while we need to understand the intensities of our children and that giving them these labels & definitions is extremely useful, it is also our task to help them "modulate" their expressions of these intensities (pgs. 36 & 55). I love the term "modulate" because it doesn't imply a squashing of or a changing of the core of who the child is; it does require us to find ways for our children to behave and move through the world in ways that they will find meaningful and also that will give them successful experiences when they have to be part of a structure that can't or doesn't always cater to their intensities (school, work, play groups, etc.) I know that the balance between respecting the intensities and indulgent permissiveness can be a tough line to walk!

(Incidentally, this book has reminded me of "Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Kurcinka. I discovered it when my oldest girl was just a few years old and it was INVALUABLE to me. It's much less clinical than this text is proving to be; I recommend it all the time!)

Rebecca

3/11/2013 03:47:28 am

I see a couple of people (adults) I know as I read through these first two chapters! That's been enlightening. Looking forward to the next couple of chapters as maybe less theoretical and more practical? Regardless, interesting stuff.

Kim

3/19/2013 02:55:35 pm

A very enlightening read that has caused me to shift my approach with my son! Placing more emphasis on acceptance has been very freeing for me. With slight adjustments, it's an amazing reminder the impact adults' words can have on kids' development. I've recently seen a calmer more confident kid emerge! I am more empathetic to how my son is perceiving the world. This book has reminded me to embrace, and help my son embrace, necessary life struggles as they come.

Sometimes I have thought I may listen too much. The excessive talking and need to verbally process everything is exhausting, so it was nice read "careful listening can be a lifeline." However, I do think limiting the conversations about worries or anxious feelings is important. The more time we spend on them, the more they tend to grow. The "What to do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid's Guide to Anxiety" has been a very helpful book for us as we have tried to find methods for accepting and supporting emotional OE. I'm looking forward to the discussion tomorrow!

Janet

3/20/2013 12:31:27 am

My library hold finally came in last weekend. I have almost finished the book and have found that the reading experience itself has been somewhat intense; it has me pondering (to point of losing sleep) how differently things could have turned out for my father had this information been available to his parents (assuming they would have been receptive to it). As a parent, I am certainly grateful for all of the guidance I can get - especially with adolescence looming ahead ☺

Rebecca

3/21/2013 01:14:24 am

Thank you, all, for a great, enlightening, candid, sometimes hard, definitely grounding book discussion last night. So glad to have been a part of that. Can't wait for the next one.

Kim

3/22/2013 01:27:15 am

This article was just shared with me and it goes right along with our book and discussion.

http://www.nagc.org/uploadedFiles/PHP/PHP_Articles/Perils%20of%20Parenting%20(June%2008).pdf

Trina

4/8/2013 04:44:06 am

Great article, Kim! Thank you for sharing.

Janet

5/21/2013 01:23:31 am

This article may interest some of you as well: http://anxietyreliefsolutions.com/gifted-and-stressed/

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